Goodbye, my morning cuppa….till we meet again.

Autumn leaves, book and cup of tea on wooden table in studio

 

My love affair with the morning cup of tea began in my teens.After I finished school, to be more precise. The phase of sleeping in till late in the morning started; much to the dismay of the rest of the family, as I would be sleeping away blissfully till almost noon sometimes. The family soon came up with an idea; of giving me a cup of tea every morning, to wake me up. Being the youngest one in the family has it’s own perks; I was indulged. They took turns, my siblings and my parents; to wake me in the mornings and “cure” the would-be Kumbhakaran in the house. I can still hear my mother singing out “Tea piyo ji” to me. A hot and aromatic cup of tea was held under my nose daily and then my beloved radio would be turned on. I would sit up grudgingly, grumbling and scowling. I acquired a great taste for the brew and it soon became a way of life. ( The budding Kumbhakaran’s career was nipped in the bud too. ) It became a favourite part of my day, listening to the radio belting out songs, staring out of my bedroom window and sipping on the delicious cup of tea.

This love affair continued after I got married. The husband and I would enjoy the morning tea ; chatting and gearing up for the day. I searched for pretty tea cups in the markets and stocked them in the kitchen. Preparing the tea turned into a culinary experience for me. A few tulsi ( basil ) leaves, freshly ground black peppercorns, lots of crushed ginger, a pinch of saunf (aniseed), dalchini (cinnamon); all went into the pan and filled my new life and new home with a sweet fragrance. Drinking the nectar from these dainty cups filled me with joy and a sense of well being.

Next arrived the children. The cup of tea soon turned into a sacred ritual , which I guarded fiercely. It brought me respite and a sense of “me -time” during those blurry child rearing days. They started going to school and the cuppa turned into an obsession, well almost. What kept me going through the hectic mornings would be the vision of that cup of tea. Once they left for school, I would set up my “space”. A comfortable chair, a peg table next to it with the newspaper on it, two marie biscuits and “THE CUP” – all on the front verandah. Then I would sit on the chair, put my feet up on the small table in front of me, switch on the radio and start sipping. Ahhhhh, heaven !!!! Songs playing, drinking tea, gazing at my beautiful garden and looking at the passers by – this is what I would wait for all morning.

By now, you must have understood the kind of passion I had ( and still have ) for the cuppa. Only a tea lover can understand the ecstasy that a well made cup of tea can bring in the morning. But this love affair of mine has been brought to an end. By whom? You might ask. Who has been heartless enough to commit this hienous crime? Well , the culprit is my E.N.T. surgeon. A long and harrowing episode of “acid reflux” a few months back has brought me to this. The good doctor has completely forbidden tea for me, any time of the day. He has also strictly told me to not attend any kind of parties for 6-7 months atleast; as according to him, I shouldn’t consume any “outside” food. Torture, if you ask me, for a glutton like me who habitually overeats.

Coming back to The Cuppa, I am facing withdrawal symptoms as I crave for it every morning. I admit I gave in to the craving on a few sin filled mornings and drank half a cup. Each time I did it, I could see the strict doctor’s ( he seems to be older than my dad, by the way) face, glaring at me. So, I fight a battle daily in the morning, wiling myself to shut my eyes whenever my husband’s cup of tea comes in my vision, to try and not be affected by the aroma wafting from that cup. I win some days and I lose some days. But, my beloved cup of tea, I hope it’s not a farewell to you. I want you back in my life, and SOON !!!

©  Feb 2017 Sapna Dhyani Devrani

A moment in time

moment-in-timeGive me a moment in time, when I could be

The sun rays that warm a frozen soul
the moon beams that soothe a scorched heart

The joker who makes a child laugh
the old soul who steadies a wandering spirit

The blazing fire that keeps a young dream alive
the cool wind that smoothens a weathered brow

The wise earth that forgives a misguided youth
the raging waters that swallow a cruel pirate of simple souls

I would protect all the innocence that is left in this world
I would destroy all the bullying that prevails in this world

……….If I am blessed with such a moment in time

©  Feb 2017 Sapna Dhyani Devrani

 

 

Hey girl, since when did you learn to…

hey-girl

Smile

and greet the guests at your door

beckoning them inside

when just a minute back

you were lying in your bed

crying your eyes out

Rise

and leave your bed in the morning

living your everyday routine

when just a night back

you had resolved to yourself

to change your ” everyday ” mundane

Love

and devote your entire being

worshipping “him” and the home

when just a day back

you were shown your place

in “his” life and “his” home

Act

and show the world

that all is well in your eutopia

when just a heartbeat back

You died a million deaths

in trying to “smile”, “rise” and “love”

© Jan 2017 Sapna Dhyani Devrani

Giving myself away

give-myself-away

I sometimes wonder
if I give myself away
with each note that I write here

All my vulnerabilities exposed
the weaknesess out there in in the open
my thoughts shared with everyone

The silly moments that I don’t hide
the quirks that I have let known
the vague and strange parts in me

The kind of life that I live
my joys and my sorrows
I string them all into necklaces of words here

Then today I got thinking about this “giving myself away”
maybe it’s all therapeutic for me
I shed a lot of weight from the mind and soul

When I am eighty and hopefully wise
I can look back and smile at a younger me
and say, “Well done, not too many things left unsaid.”

© Dec 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani

Look, there is magic in your life

spicysaturday

 

stardust and magic in your hands

 

See that little bird sitting on the fence in your garden?
it just blew a cool and calm wave of magic into your little world ,
because birds only visit your garden if they find in it a safe friend.

See your child smiling at you adoringly, with her two front teeth missing?
she has infused little fistfuls of magic into your heart,soul and your whole being
because a child’s guileless heart knows whom to adore.

See your house help doing her best to make your life easy?
she has sung a sacred hymn of magic for you and your home
because trust and devotion from a person weathered by life; is precious.

See the rays of the sun filtering in through the windows?
they have sprinkled a glowing shower of warm magic in your home,
because warmth that is natural, finds it’s way into your veins, and turns into a life force.

Look around and you will find magic everywhere
it is present in every little nook and cranny of the jungle that is your life
you just need to see through the eyes of your soul; and you will find it.

© Nov 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani

I forgive you

forgive

Scene 1:

The hubby and I have had a big fight and we are not on talking terms with each other for the past two days. He walks around with a “khadoos” expression on his face and I walk around, just plain disgusted. If we bump into each other while walking around the house, we hastily side step or turn around, making a great show of the action. I purse my lips and roll my eyes upwards when I see him sulking. If the need arises, we communicate through the kids. When in the same room, we perform the best possible impersonations of “stone face”. While sleeping at night, I yank the blanket off him as I hardly have any for myself. He yanks some of it back again; deliberately takes deep and loud breaths to show his anger ( imagine a bull huffing and puffing through his nose) and sulks off to sleep. Me? I am not into such juvenile behaviour ; I just roll my eyes off to sleep ( pulling the blanket completely off him).

Scene 2:

The next day, Anya, my elder daughter returns from school.

Anya :  Are you and Papa talking to each other now?
Me : No. And who tells you to notice such things, anyway?
( We withhold the shenanigans till the kids are awake. Once they are asleep; well, the arena is set for our performances)
Anya : Come on Mumma, we always come to know.
Me : Everybody’s parents fight. We will be fine.
Anya : Has Papa said sorry to you and touched your feet, while holding both his ears?
( I plead guilty. Blush. I have told her that I ONLY talk to her Papa again when he performs all the above mentioned rituals )
Me : Come, let’s eat lunch.

Scene 3 :

I walk up to the hubby/sulking bull and stand in front of him, willing him to look up.

Me : I forgive you. ( waving my hand magnanimously at him ).
Hubby : What ????
Me : Yes, I forgive you.
Hubby : Really, your highness? May I ask why?
Me : Because one of us has to be the bigger person here, and I am obviously the one.
Hubby : WHAT !! No! “I” forgive you.
Me : Too late. I have done the honours. You have been forgiven.
Hubby : I FORGIVE YOU.

Both of us start laughing. The kids come running and join in the laughter.

Anya : Taidu, Papa has said sorry to Mumma. He touched her feet and held his ears with both his hands.
Taidu : Before that, he stood in front of her with folded hands and also did “Utthakk Baitthakk” a hundred times.
Anya : How do you know that ?
Taidu : Mumma told me.

The hubby does a triple take and gasping for breath,manages to blurt out  ” WHAT? Where’s your darling Mumma?”

In case you too are looking around for me, I am standing behind the bathroom door; rubbing my hands in glee. What? Did you just say that you saw horns on my head? Well, just for this once, you can get away with saying that. ( because you read the whole article )

I FORGIVE YOU ! 😉 😉 😉

© Nov 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani

What I wish for my children

wish-for-my-children

When my elder daughter, Anya was born; someone asked me, ” What ambitions do you have for her? When I had my kids , I had huge aspirations for them and wanted at least one of them to grow up to be a doctor.” Young as I was, all I said was that I hadn’t thought of any such goals for her. The person looked at me with disdain, having decided that I was going to be a good for nothing parent. Much older as I am now, I would still give pretty much the same answer to the query. Also, this time I wouldn’t give two hoots about what the person thought of the answer. ( And take perverse pleasure in seeing the person foxed with my answer.)

All I want for my two kids; aged nine and six, is ” HAPPINESS ” and ” JOY “. The more I think about this, the more I realize that I have actually been quite smart in wishing for these two gems in their life. If, at the age of 45, they are happy and full of joy; it would mean that everything else is also working out quite fine for them. It would mean that they are content in their chosen line of work; it would mean that they are in good health and it would also mean that they are with good spouses. There goes the big word -“Spouse”!

Single people might wonder why there is a pregnant pause when I came to this word. But, it’s true; the quality of one’s life after one gets married, depends a great deal on the kind of person the “spouse” is. A good spouse will add to the happiness and joy quotient in your life; whereas a marriage with a mismatched soul can be the cause of unending grief and can sap the life out of your heart and soul. So, being the “ambitious” mother that  am, I want my daughters to choose well and not just “settle”. ( I often fantasize about hiring private detectives , to spy on prospective grooms. Now why did I reveal this? I might scare their future boyfriends off ! )

They seem to be doing well enough till now. I do whatever I can to make them aware of the world around them. I want to expose them to all kinds of opportunities; opportunities for fun and enjoyment; opportunities to learn new skills that would open their minds and hearts; opportunities for growth and becoming aware of their potential. It will be perfectly fine with me if they choose an unconventional line of work, as long as I see that they are happy. And hey, if any of them decides to be a stay at home wife, you can bet that I will be fine with that too; as long as I see that they are happy. If not, they will find a mighty determined mom; getting after them  to change their life.

If you feel happy with your lot in life and your heart sings with joy from time to time; you are doing just fine in your life; despite all the other usual hardships and obstacles. After all, the stumbling blocks add spice to your journey. BUT, if you are disgruntled with your lot in life; your heart feels heavy, your soul weary and it’s been a long time since you felt the lightness of joy; then definitely you are NOT doing fine.  It’s time to change certain facets of your life. Because if you don’t; you are messing up your dear ones’ lives too, alongwith yours.

After musing for so long, I am still stuck on these two words- “Happiness” and “Joy”. And that’s all I wish for my children. I wish that they always feel happy and joyful; so that the gurgling and laughing child inside them is always alive; even when they are ninety years old. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for and I have guided them to pray for the same. Amen.

© Nov 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani