The ” WTF ” Factor

So has it struck you with it’s full force as yet- the ” WTF ” factor ? When it enters your life, or rather, your person- you wonder what the F*** was it that you were doing till now. It makes you unwilling to suffer fools gladly anymore. You realise that the nature of life is transient and don’t want to waste even a single moment of your precious life on undeserving people. It makes your near ones wonder why you are not “nice” anymore? You develop a very low tolerance level for drama of any kind. It makes you do some big time spring cleaning in your world. I see it as gardening- weeding out the unnecessary stuff that is stinting new growth , planting fresh flowers of hope, nurturing greenery- and Hey! Just look at that! A whole new world that has been gifted to you, by your own self.

It struck me after my mother’s demise last year. Then again, maybe it had been approaching me for sometime. I was grief- stricken and poured my heart out , in a post here on FB . Before that I had always wondered what made people write about personal stuff here. But there are no inhibitions now. It’s as if there is no monkey on my back anymore.

So, has the factor entered your life? What- No?
WHAT THE F*** !!!!! 😉 😉 😉

© Mar 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani

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Hey Woman, won’t it be nice if you….

Hey Woman…..won’t it be nice if you :

Do not strive to be a superwoman; Are you looking for praise when you do that?
Do not take over the entire responsibility of bringing up your children; Are you looking for leverage when you do that?
Do not make other women’s lives difficult; Are you trying to make yourself feel better?
Do not underplay your personality; Are you doing that to make others feel less threatened?

Hey Woman……won’t it be so much nicer if you :

Delegate the work that you have to do; it would be so much better for your well being.
Involve the father of your children in the day to day nitty gritties of child-rearing; instead of leverage you will be rewarded with love.
Help other women in whatever way you can; it would make the world a much better place to live in.
Let yourself be relaxed enough to behave naturally, letting your personality shine through; you will find the right kind of people enter your life.

And most importantly, won’t it be so much better if we treat others as persons & human beings first and than as women & men?

© Mar 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani

If only I could have been 38 when I was 19 !!!

The year was 1996. I was 19 and had a “Girl Interrupted” kind of situation in my life. Well, nothing so drastic. But I came down with a chronic cough due to some infection, and it lasted for quite some time. Along with it came an extreme aversion to the daily evening Accounts tutorials and the afternoon Computer programming classes. I had no interest in either of the courses. But there was no way out since I was already into the third year of B.com and the third & final semester of the computer course that I was pursuing. So, I sat at home for more than a month, feeling despair and hopelessness. The future seemed dark and I felt as if the life force had been sucked out of me. Didn’t feel like meeting anyone and would cry myself to sleep every night. My soul was weary and the heart felt sick. I had always eaten like a horse but now had no appetite and lost a lot of weight. At 19, I felt as lifeless as a very old and terminally ill patient on her death bed. Then after what seemed like ages, I gathered my courage and started attending the dreaded classes again. What had been started , had to be finished. And life started again.

The year is 2016. I am 38 years old and feel happiness. ( well maybe not on the days when the hubby and me have had a fight wink emoticon ). The soul seems to have it’s abundant share of hope,love and joy. My garden which is full of flowers gladdens my senses each day, My blogs satisfy my urge to “do” something. My kiddos and my husband are the main ingredients as well the spice in the recipe of my life. I seem to drift towards and attract those who are satisfied with their lot in life. I feel as excited about things as if i am a teenager. In short, I could very well be a starry eyed 19 year old now.

So, I guess it’s your spirit and how your soul & heart feel that ultimately matters. I have met some 85 year olds who have a zest for life and a happy soul, with whom I can happily converse for hours. Then there are 20 year olds I meet who seem to have stale souls and seem to be lifeless.

If only I could have been 38 when I was 19 !!!

© Feb 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani

A conversation between me and my hubby

A conversation that me and my hubby Rd Maverick a.k.a. Ranjan have almost every alternate day :

Me : Why were you so loud just now while talking to me?
Him : I WAS NOT LOUD.
Me : Please don’t talk to me in that tone. I am always courteous when I talk to you.
Him : WHAT TONE? I TOO, AM COURTEOUS TO YOU.
Me : Please don’t shout.
Him : I AM NOT SHOUTING. I AM NATURALLY LOUD.
Me : But you were always quiet in College. When we met, you were very gentle when you spoke with me.
Him : I WAS TRYING TO ” IMPRESS” YOU.
Me : DHOKHA !!
Him : YOU LUCKY GIRL…YOU GOT MARRIED TO ME.
Me : ( thrown my hands up in the air )

But I think I can grant him this much…after all he has been in the fauj , in the “cuss friendly” infantry and in a vibrant and ” loud” sikh paltan for 15 years. 🙂

© Feb 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani

Are you a “LADY” ?

Do you laugh loudly, as in, a guffaw?
Do you wear what you want to, not caring about what “him”,”her” or “they” will say?
Do you express your thoughts and put forward your opinions freely in a gathering, without fearing judgement?
Do you speak your mind, and not bother about an ‘image’ to uphold?
Do you give it back equally during arguments and fights with the man in your life, without quavering?
Do you have guts enough and the self respect to cut off or at least stay away from toxic people, however close in ‘relation’ they may be?

Are you loud and brash at times, caring two hoots about “demeanour” ?
Are you comfortable putting your feet up at times and letting the man in your life take care of the domestic stuff?
Are you unapologetic about spending on yourself?
Are you willing to ruffle a few feathers and to stand alone, by not conforming to the social norms?
Are you crazy enough to come across as the fool at times, just to make your kids laugh?
Are you called a ” tigress” by your man, because you don’t allow him to be unfair or tardy to you ever?

Then BRAVO my girl, you are NOT a LADY!

© Feb 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani

IS THIS POETRY?

Q. Is this a poem that you are writing here?
A. I don’t know, never delved into this thought.

Q. You are writing in verse, so this must be meant to be a poem?
A. Ok agreed, this is a poem.

Q. But where are the heavy, intricate words which intellectuals use?
A. But I am not an intellectual and I like simple words, because that’s what
appeals to me in other people’s writings too.

Q. Where are the rhyming words, isn’t there rhyming in a poem?
A. When I write, it’s as if I am talking to a person, I don’t talk using rhyming
words in my daily conversations with people.

Q. So, you are a thinker who analyses everything.
A. I just write what comes to mind, what I feel like sharing with everyone.

Conclusion : Poem or not, I am just sharing what’s on my mind.

© Jan 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani

A Bit Of Both

There’s a bit of both in me,
A bit of both in all of us.
Both of what? you ask,
Both of the extremes, I say.
I am an extrovert at times, but look forward to solitude too;
Enjoying time with myself and mine, in my own small world.
There is music in my home, songs constantly churned out from my beloved Radio;
But there are also days when all I want is to feel the peace and serenity of silence.
There are days when I dress to the hilt and dance, eat ,enjoy at a gathering;
Then there are times when I find it frivolous, a wastage of time.
I sometimes love to play the clown, making my family and friends laugh;
Then there are the times when all I want to do is be alone.
Sometimes, I am civil to a people who have been unkind to me and others;
But too many times, I want to go at them full throttle and beat the devil out of them.
There are more of ” both” inside me,
Just like they are in you.

© Jan 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani