When my elder daughter, Anya was born; someone asked me, ” What ambitions do you have for her? When I had my kids , I had huge aspirations for them and wanted at least one of them to grow up to be a doctor.” Young as I was, all I said was that I hadn’t thought of any such goals for her. The person looked at me with disdain, having decided that I was going to be a good for nothing parent. Much older as I am now, I would still give pretty much the same answer to the query. Also, this time I wouldn’t give two hoots about what the person thought of the answer. ( And take perverse pleasure in seeing the person foxed with my answer.)
All I want for my two kids; aged nine and six, is ” HAPPINESS ” and ” JOY “. The more I think about this, the more I realize that I have actually been quite smart in wishing for these two gems in their life. If, at the age of 45, they are happy and full of joy; it would mean that everything else is also working out quite fine for them. It would mean that they are content in their chosen line of work; it would mean that they are in good health and it would also mean that they are with good spouses. There goes the big word -“Spouse”!
Single people might wonder why there is a pregnant pause when I came to this word. But, it’s true; the quality of one’s life after one gets married, depends a great deal on the kind of person the “spouse” is. A good spouse will add to the happiness and joy quotient in your life; whereas a marriage with a mismatched soul can be the cause of unending grief and can sap the life out of your heart and soul. So, being the “ambitious” mother that am, I want my daughters to choose well and not just “settle”. ( I often fantasize about hiring private detectives , to spy on prospective grooms. Now why did I reveal this? I might scare their future boyfriends off ! )
They seem to be doing well enough till now. I do whatever I can to make them aware of the world around them. I want to expose them to all kinds of opportunities; opportunities for fun and enjoyment; opportunities to learn new skills that would open their minds and hearts; opportunities for growth and becoming aware of their potential. It will be perfectly fine with me if they choose an unconventional line of work, as long as I see that they are happy. And hey, if any of them decides to be a stay at home wife, you can bet that I will be fine with that too; as long as I see that they are happy. If not, they will find a mighty determined mom; getting after them to change their life.
If you feel happy with your lot in life and your heart sings with joy from time to time; you are doing just fine in your life; despite all the other usual hardships and obstacles. After all, the stumbling blocks add spice to your journey. BUT, if you are disgruntled with your lot in life; your heart feels heavy, your soul weary and it’s been a long time since you felt the lightness of joy; then definitely you are NOT doing fine. It’s time to change certain facets of your life. Because if you don’t; you are messing up your dear ones’ lives too, alongwith yours.
After musing for so long, I am still stuck on these two words- “Happiness” and “Joy”. And that’s all I wish for my children. I wish that they always feel happy and joyful; so that the gurgling and laughing child inside them is always alive; even when they are ninety years old. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for and I have guided them to pray for the same. Amen.
© Nov 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani