This was a questions I asked my mother many times, after returning to my own home from visits to my friends’ homes. “Meaning?” she would ask. ” Aunty 1 makes Laddoos at home and she was preparing Mathri when I was starting for home. Aunty 2 is always fussing over her kids to eat food, you never fuss over us to eat. ” Her answer used to be, ” But their moms are not busy like I am. Their fathers are not away sailing at sea for months at a time. Their moms don’t have to handle finances, bills, gas & phone connections, run a home. All this while staying alone and bringing up three kids. And not to forget the herculean task of constructing a house.”
But to my teenage self, this answer didn’t suffice. I wanted my mother to look like a ” regular mom” – slightly portly, wearing matronly sarees. She, on the other hand was slim and wore crisp cotton sarees, suits and looked very young and pretty. AND she didn’t fuss over us to eat ,eat and eat some more !! She wasn’t always in the kitchen, it was a not her place of work.
It’s only now that I fully grasp the enormity of her efficiency. In the 90’s, she was a liberated and independent woman, quite unlike the “other moms” that I wanted her to be like. But un-assuming that she was, she was never forceful about anything. Perhaps that’s the reason I never understood how truly modern she was.
Salute and Respect to you Mummy. I hope I can learn to be as efficient and humane as you were.
©Apr 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani