If only I could have been 38 when I was 19 !!!

The year was 1996. I was 19 and had a “Girl Interrupted” kind of situation in my life. Well, nothing so drastic. But I came down with a chronic cough due to some infection, and it lasted for quite some time. Along with it came an extreme aversion to the daily evening Accounts tutorials and the afternoon Computer programming classes. I had no interest in either of the courses. But there was no way out since I was already into the third year of B.com and the third & final semester of the computer course that I was pursuing. So, I sat at home for more than a month, feeling despair and hopelessness. The future seemed dark and I felt as if the life force had been sucked out of me. Didn’t feel like meeting anyone and would cry myself to sleep every night. My soul was weary and the heart felt sick. I had always eaten like a horse but now had no appetite and lost a lot of weight. At 19, I felt as lifeless as a very old and terminally ill patient on her death bed. Then after what seemed like ages, I gathered my courage and started attending the dreaded classes again. What had been started , had to be finished. And life started again.

The year is 2016. I am 38 years old and feel happiness. ( well maybe not on the days when the hubby and me have had a fight wink emoticon ). The soul seems to have it’s abundant share of hope,love and joy. My garden which is full of flowers gladdens my senses each day, My blogs satisfy my urge to “do” something. My kiddos and my husband are the main ingredients as well the spice in the recipe of my life. I seem to drift towards and attract those who are satisfied with their lot in life. I feel as excited about things as if i am a teenager. In short, I could very well be a starry eyed 19 year old now.

So, I guess it’s your spirit and how your soul & heart feel that ultimately matters. I have met some 85 year olds who have a zest for life and a happy soul, with whom I can happily converse for hours. Then there are 20 year olds I meet who seem to have stale souls and seem to be lifeless.

If only I could have been 38 when I was 19 !!!

© Feb 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani

Author: Sapna Dhyani

I am Sapna Dhyani. I write about everything that crosses my mind. I write about life as I see it and like to infuse humour into my blogs. I belong to Dehradun but now live in a new city after every two years, being an army wife. This uprooting of base every couple of years, setting up a new home in a new place, meeting new people and forging new friendships, exploring new cities; all this ensures that I go through and am blessed with a myriad of experiences.

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