If only I could have been 38 when I was 19 !!!

The year was 1996. I was 19 and had a “Girl Interrupted” kind of situation in my life. Well, nothing so drastic. But I came down with a chronic cough due to some infection, and it lasted for quite some time. Along with it came an extreme aversion to the daily evening Accounts tutorials and the afternoon Computer programming classes. I had no interest in either of the courses. But there was no way out since I was already into the third year of B.com and the third & final semester of the computer course that I was pursuing. So, I sat at home for more than a month, feeling despair and hopelessness. The future seemed dark and I felt as if the life force had been sucked out of me. Didn’t feel like meeting anyone and would cry myself to sleep every night. My soul was weary and the heart felt sick. I had always eaten like a horse but now had no appetite and lost a lot of weight. At 19, I felt as lifeless as a very old and terminally ill patient on her death bed. Then after what seemed like ages, I gathered my courage and started attending the dreaded classes again. What had been started , had to be finished. And life started again.

The year is 2016. I am 38 years old and feel happiness. ( well maybe not on the days when the hubby and me have had a fight wink emoticon ). The soul seems to have it’s abundant share of hope,love and joy. My garden which is full of flowers gladdens my senses each day, My blogs satisfy my urge to “do” something. My kiddos and my husband are the main ingredients as well the spice in the recipe of my life. I seem to drift towards and attract those who are satisfied with their lot in life. I feel as excited about things as if i am a teenager. In short, I could very well be a starry eyed 19 year old now.

So, I guess it’s your spirit and how your soul & heart feel that ultimately matters. I have met some 85 year olds who have a zest for life and a happy soul, with whom I can happily converse for hours. Then there are 20 year olds I meet who seem to have stale souls and seem to be lifeless.

If only I could have been 38 when I was 19 !!!

© Feb 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani


A conversation between me and my hubby

A conversation that me and my hubby Rd Maverick a.k.a. Ranjan have almost every alternate day :

Me : Why were you so loud just now while talking to me?
Me : Please don’t talk to me in that tone. I am always courteous when I talk to you.
Me : Please don’t shout.
Me : But you were always quiet in College. When we met, you were very gentle when you spoke with me.
Me : DHOKHA !!
Me : ( thrown my hands up in the air )

But I think I can grant him this much…after all he has been in the fauj , in the “cuss friendly” infantry and in a vibrant and ” loud” sikh paltan for 15 years. 🙂

© Feb 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani

Are you a “LADY” ?

Do you laugh loudly, as in, a guffaw?
Do you wear what you want to, not caring about what “him”,”her” or “they” will say?
Do you express your thoughts and put forward your opinions freely in a gathering, without fearing judgement?
Do you speak your mind, and not bother about an ‘image’ to uphold?
Do you give it back equally during arguments and fights with the man in your life, without quavering?
Do you have guts enough and the self respect to cut off or at least stay away from toxic people, however close in ‘relation’ they may be?

Are you loud and brash at times, caring two hoots about “demeanour” ?
Are you comfortable putting your feet up at times and letting the man in your life take care of the domestic stuff?
Are you unapologetic about spending on yourself?
Are you willing to ruffle a few feathers and to stand alone, by not conforming to the social norms?
Are you crazy enough to come across as the fool at times, just to make your kids laugh?
Are you called a ” tigress” by your man, because you don’t allow him to be unfair or tardy to you ever?

Then BRAVO my girl, you are NOT a LADY!

© Feb 2016 Sapna Dhyani Devrani